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  • LaNuovaRiforma

    Welcome to our website. Peace and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be your abundance and God bless you greatly. We wish to introduce.

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  • Responsibilities of Father and Mother to Teach Train and Discipline their Children

    We have now looked at the responsibilities of father and mother, and we have seen that Scripture gives to both the awesome responsibility to teach, train and discipline their children.

    We had previously mentioned what the model for the teaching and training of the children was. Now we will see it perhaps in greater detail.

    The Model with which We must Train Our Children:

    This model is based upon the instruction and the logic of God’s word, doctrinal teaching, commandments and Biblical principles put into practical and daily living, this is called training.

    This is also called making disciples. The making of disciples is a method that includes both the theory (which is essential but it must not remain such) and the practice of the word of God (this is essential, but Biblical activity or practice must not lead to neglect the study of doctrine), which is to live the Christian life before the eyes of the disciple, living that which we teach in theory.

    The Christian faith has to be lived, as the theory needs to be learned to become practice, but we need to learn it first even theoretically. When the theory becomes practice then it is possible to make true disciples. Children, therefore, must become disciples of parents who are disciples of Jesus. This is only possible if the parents themselves are made to be disciples in the right way. For this reason the parents must have a church that disciples them correctly and that lives without hypocrisy its own theology and the right theology I would add.

    Often, especially today, many parents have become believers in their adult years and often when they are already married and even more often they already had children. This can be a thing that negatively influences the proper making of our children into real disciples of Jesus Christ. This is especially true because most churches and denominations do not teach sound doctrine and even if they teach it perhaps they do not really practice it, so that parents often do not even know how to make true disciples of their children as they themselves are not able to spiritually grow and mature in the way God really wants. Moreover, often unfortunately, the majority of believers so not grow and mature spiritually because they do not individually and personally put an effort into being transformed by the renewing of their mind and this leaves them too conformed to the ways of this world and the culture in which they live ROMANS 12:1-2. The word of God commands us to be in the world but not to be of the world JAMES 4:4, 1 JOHN 2:15-16 and this is becoming with every passing day a greater challenge, but it is not impossible.

    In fact, the culture does not have at all to do with Biblical living. Unfortunately, today there is this false ideology, philosophy that circulates through the churches. In other words, that we have to contextualize the Bible to the extreme, this is an erroneous, definitely diabolical philosophy and as these always do, erroneously teaches that the word of God must be molded by the culture and society in which we live. The believer in every culture and every society MUST submit to the word of God and not the word of God be rearranged by cultural and societal relevancy. When we find Apostolic commandments and doctrines, these transcend time and culture.

    It’s incredible and sad to see how certain believers have come to think, believe and behave. Many, for example, want to make doctrines for the church out of what God has given to Israel as a nation. Certainly there are many principles in the OT that the church must observe, but there are many other things such as ceremonial observances and other promises that where given strictly to Israel. However, the same believers who want to apply the entire Mosaic law to the church are the same ones who want to make of the Apostolic doctrines and commandments of the NT doctrines and commandments the church has to obey today, these they want to make into cultural issues of that time only, they say these things are not valid today because the culture and society is changed. What double standard, what hypocrisy. Please explain to me, who dictates what we live by, the culture, society or God? Who is your God? Who is your Lord? Jesus or the world?

    However, the teaching, training and disciplining of the children and making them into disciples of Jesus Christ is a method well described for us in God’s word and yes, we have to put it into practice as it is demonstrated in the OT, method used and confirmed in the NT, so please do not be scandalized now if I will use many principles for disciple making from the OT. You will be able to see that it is the method used by Jesus and the Apostles.

    Deuteronomy 6:1-9 “Now this is the commandment, and these are the statutes and judgments which the LORD your God has commanded to teach you, that you may observe them in the land which you are crossing over to possess, 2 that you may fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged. 3 Therefore hear, O Israel, and be careful to observe it, that it may be well with you, and that you may multiply greatly as the LORD God of your fathers has promised you–‘a land flowing with milk and honey.’ 4 “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one! 5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

    In this passage we see divine universal principles for all believers through a teaching given directly from God to His people Israel and also to us the church. I firmly believe, in fact, that there are principles that we Christians must obey even today. I also firmly believe that it is really the neglect and the absence of this type of teaching and training that brings the believer’s children to abandon the faith or to live a carnal life filled with compromises with sin, the world and the culture, at best not to grow spiritually. This problem will render the believers’ children to reflect less and less the spiritual and divine characteristics that should instead characterize the Christian family.

    We see first of all how this type of training has to be practiced. All that God wants to teach, to do what with it? To put into practice the Christian faith. All the commandments, statutes, principles and decrees that God has ordered to put into practice.

    The first important principle is to put into practice what is taught in the word of God in every day living. We teach our children demonstrating them in action what we teach in theory. This is what Jesus did, He preached and taught the word and also lived it and practiced before everybody.

    Let’s look at some of the characteristics of Jesus’ practical teaching and how they relate to us.

    Acts 10:38 how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went about doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.

    John 5:19-20 Then Jesus answered and said to them, “Most assuredly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of Himself, but what He sees the Father do; for whatever He does, the Son also does in like manner. 20 For the Father loves the Son, and shows Him all things that He Himself does; and He will show Him greater works than these, that you may marvel.

    John 14:12 Verily, verily I say to you: whoever believes in me will also do the works I do; in fact even greater works they will do, because I go to the Father.

    Jesus taught the word of God and practiced the word, obeyed it and did it. In these passages we have read, we see just a few principles that we can learn to make disciples in our family and the church.

    1)We must go about doing good to all, especially do good to our brothers and sisters in Christ and our family, doing good things in the physical realm but especially in the spiritual.

    1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

    This passage definitely is speaking about all provisions not only in the physical sense but also in the spiritual.

    2) We have to give practical example of what to do while we as children of God submit to the word of God and all it commands us to do as we obey it. This will lead our children to do what the father does and tells them to do as the children see the father do it, so that not only we speak the truth we live it. The children see the father (parents) do the things that need to be done, the father (parents) give the example of how the word of God is obeyed and lived.

    3) Who follows Jesus, in other words who is His disciple, will use the same methods and will do the same things Jesus has done. In essence to make it easier to understand, this means being obedient to the word of God and be faithful to God in all things.

    1 John 2:5-6 But whoever keeps His word, truly the love of God is perfected in him. By this we know that we are in Him. 6 He who says he abides in Him ought himself also to walk just as He walked.

    When we teach our children we make them disciples with the word of God and we put it into practice before them, we are exercising them to fear God in the way He wants to be feared, not with a unhealthy fear or terror rather with a healthy fear, fear that leads to respect and reverence which demonstrates itself in love. This is the respect that is born from the realization that God has saved us, that He teaches us and corrects us because He loves us.

    1 John 4:16-19 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him. 17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us.

    The security that the love of God for us leads us in the love of God and in loving God and His commandments. This truth is expressed also in the passage of Deuteronomy 6:5 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart.

    This is confirmed also in

    John 14:21-22 He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.”

    John 14:22-24 Jesus answered and said to him, “If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word; and My Father will love him, and We will come to him and make Our home with him. 24 He who does not love Me does not keep My words; and the word which you hear is not Mine but the Father’s who sent Me.

    John also confirms Jesus’ words

    1 John 5:1-3 Whoever believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves Him who begot also loves him who is begotten of Him. 2 By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. 3 For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.

    This is what needs to be taught to our children, this kind of fear of God is the beginning of all knowledge and wisdom.

    Deuteronomy 6:2 that you may fear the LORD your God, to keep all His statutes and His commandments which I command you, you and your son and your grandson, all the days of your life, and that your days may be prolonged.

    Proverbs 9:10-11 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. 11 For by me your days will be multiplied, And years of life will be added to you.

    Proverbs 1:7-9 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, But fools despise wisdom and instruction. 8 My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; 9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck.

    Proverbs 8: 13a The fear of the LORD is to hate evil

    Proverbs 10:27 The fear of the LORD prolongs days, But the years of the wicked will be shortened.

    These passages as we have seen previously are parallel passages between Deuteronomy 6:2 and Proverbs 9:10-11 and Proverbs 10:27. We find this promise confirmed also in the Ten Commandments in

    Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.

    The Fifth Commandment is also mentioned by Paul in the New Testament

    Ephesians 6:1-3 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

    The subject of honoring and obeying parents will be studied when we will talk of the roles in the family and the various responsibilities. At this point it is essential to understand that the principle to teach the children is to honor and love and fear the LORD as He is our Father. So there is a deep spiritual parallelism and a connection between parents and children and children of God and the LORD.

    At this stage I also want to open a parenthesis about the subject of the commandment or decree that God gave first to Adam and Eve and then to Noah and his sons, to be fruitful and multiply.

    Some people to justify their position of being contrary to pro-create and to justify their use of contraceptives, use the excuse saying that God only gave this commandment because the earth in both of those cases had to be re-populated and therefore it was a decree given only and exclusively for those two periods. So now that the earth is greatly populated this decree is no longer valid today.

    Their theory is false and it is destroyed by Scripture as we see that the desire and will of God for His people is always to be fruitful and multiply. We see this also at the base of

    Deuteronomy 6:3 Therefore hear, O Israel, and be careful to observe it, that it may be well with you, and that you may multiply greatly as the LORD God of your fathers has promised you–‘a land flowing with milk and honey.’

    We have seen and see throughout many passages of Scripture that God’s desire and will is that His people be fruitful and multiply, and we have seen that it is a blessing from God. God always desires to create life and that we make disciples, adding children to His family, the church.

    It is surely a great opportunity for the church (and the Christian family) to evangelize and make disciples of their own children. We do not then have to go very far to evangelize and make disciples as we can effectively begin to do so within our own family.

    Jesus said to begin making disciples first in Jerusalem, there is a principle here, this means to begin in their case with their own, the Jews, the people closest to them, in relation to kin, so if we think about it there is a principle we have to adopt as well, we must begin to make disciples, to evangelize in the closest sphere of influence we have, which is our family. This makes sense, if we neglect our family to go and evangelize and make disciples elsewhere we do not really understand or exhibit God’s love properly. The first and foremost responsibility is toward the family, our children. To place the emphasis of evangelism and disciple-making outside the family, we risk (and it is happening) that we will lose our children to the world.

    Uselessly the church tries to make disciples elsewhere when it cannot even make disciples within their own family, in their own house. I say uselessly because God wants that we evangelize, however, we must as our first responsibility begin and bring to pass this work in our own family first. This is the primary responsibility of all who have children. God will not be pleased if we attempt to evangelize or make disciples outside the family while neglecting and losing our own children. I believe that when we are in a sure position that our children are walking with God THEN we can begin to look outside the family. I do not believe that God will reward people who do not put their ALL in taking care of their family before they go and “love” other souls into the kingdom when they cannot love their own enough to spend the time on them. I believe this is whole the principle of

    1 Timothy 5: 8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

    Deuteronomy 6:5-9 You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. 7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

    We had already established that it was love for God and His love for us upon which, God wants our relationship to be based with Him. In this passage the LORD is commanding us to love Him with all the parts of our being and by consequence all the parts of our life. For love toward God that His commandments will remain in our heart see also PSALMS 119: 9-11 and LUKE 10:27.

    Parents must make God known to their children through their love for God and their obedience to God’s word teaching them diligently to their children, teach them all of the word of God in theory and practice.

    What does it mean to teach our children diligently God’s word? Let’s examine these words shall we?!

    In Hebrew the word is Wªshinantaam from the word shanan its meaning is to point; intensively, to pierce figuratively, to inculcate: to teach or impress with repetitions and admonitions.

    This is the instruction to renew the mind with the word of God, only like this we can be transformed and not conform to the ways of the world and only like this we will learn what is the good, acceptable and perfect will of God ROMANS 12:1-2.

    It is obvious then that the LORD in His word confirms the meaning of this word as He explains in a practical way how we inculcate, teach diligently our children the word of God. Reading this passage we see that this is exactly the methodology of teaching used by Jesus.

    The first part is theory, teachings, parables, typologies every day for the entire day, Jesus taught continuously and assiduously all day long. The second part is practical and part of ourselves,our daily living. To have them tied to our hand means to practice them, to have them as frontlets between our eyes means always to have our eyes upon the word of God, not to take away our gaze from it, to meditate them.

    To write them upon the doorposts of our house and upon our gates means to be surrounded by God’s word in our home environment, today all this should be increasingly easier to do as there are many resources and technology that can help us do this. This language used by the LORD in this passage is really symbolism that we find also in other Scripture passages that are important and that show us the importance of always having the word of God before us, meditate upon it and have our eyes always upon it, in other words surround ourselves with it.

    Proverbs 6:20-23 My son, keep your father’s command, And do not forsake the law of your mother. 21 Bind them continually upon your heart; Tie them around your neck. 22 When you roam, they will lead you; When you sleep, they will keep you; And when you awake, they will speak with you. 23 For the commandment is a lamp, And the law a light; Reproofs of instruction are the way of life,

    Proverbs 7:1-4 My son, keep my words, And treasure my commands within you. 2 Keep my commands and live, And my law as the apple of your eye. 3 Bind them on your fingers; Write them on the tablet of your heart. 4 Say to wisdom, “You are my sister,” And call understanding your nearest kin,

    Psalm 1:1-2 Blessed is the man Who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, Nor stands in the path of sinners, Nor sits in the seat of the scornful; 2 But his delight is in the law of the LORD, And in His law he meditates day and night.

    Once more in some of these passages we see the emphasis on the fact that it is the responsibility of the parents to teach the children the word of God, with the help and support of the church, but not to dump all the responsibility of the training of children upon the church and its “programs”.

    If our children will follow the LORD or not it will be determined if the parents will have inculcated the word of God in them and trained the children in the fear and admonition of the Lord or not. We and our children will obtain true spiritual success and prosperity, not always but sometimes even economic prosperity, by the meditation and the practice and obedience of the word of God that is taught.

    Joshua 1:8-9 This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate in it day and night, that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and of good courage; do not be afraid, nor be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.”

    These are the things to put into practice that need to be taught our children and that will help them become true disciples of Jesus, read, study, meditate, memorize the Scriptures and then obey them, practice them JAMES 1:22-25.

    Let us remember what the word of God tells us, first of all Jesus said in

    Matthew 28:18-20 And Jesus came and spoke to them, saying, “All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.” Amen.

    It becomes evident that the very first thing, the initial thing in making a disciple is to evangelize the person. So a great part of the teaching in making disciples of our children is to bring them to the knowledge of Christ and to give them the knowledge of salvation. This has to be done making them conscious early in their life of their sinfulness and their need of God’s grace and salvation. The very first thing we must do is to share the Gospel with them for their salvation.

    It becomes almost useless to try to save the world if we neglect the salvation of our children and family, thinking perhaps it will occur in frequenting the church. There are more unsaved people in churches than you know, religious but unsaved. Let’s be careful, this is a wrong way of thinking and you are evading your spiritual responsibilities given you by God.

    You fathers and mothers are responsible for your children, this includes giving them the word of grace that can lead them to salvation 2 TIMOTHY 3:14-15, by telling them the Gospel ROMANS 10:17. You want to evangelize? Begin at home, do not neglect your children’s soul to take care of other people’s souls, this does not please God.

    The second thing Jesus commands us in disciple making is to teach them to obeserve ALL that Jesus has commanded the church to obeserve, these are the doctrines of the NT Scriptures as well as the entire word of God when in commandment and principle it is to be obeyed by the church.

    In the meantime, Jesus also instructed us on how we become true disciples,

    John 8:31-32 Then Jesus said to those Jews who believed Him, “If you abide in My word, you are My disciples indeed. 32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”

    To abide means to live into and is a parallelism with the passage in Deuteronomy where it tells us to live in every aspect of the word of God and to make it become part of our being. To abide means to inhabit, to be into it with every fiber and aspect of our life.

    There is another essential responsibility the parents have toward their children that actually is an inseparable part of the spiritual training of the children. This is part of the training, above and beyond what we have already talked about, the parent’s love beyond the affection and the tender care the parents must demonstrate. They must demonstrate a love that is the same love God demonstrates His children in His word and in their life.

    The word of God teaches us that it is because God loves us as His children, He corrects us and disciplines us.

    Hebrews 12:5-11 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; 6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens,And scourges every son whom He receives.” 7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. 11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

    What principles do we find in this passage? What can we draw out if this passage and practice toward our children?

    Not to forget it is an exhortation that speaks to us as sons and daughters of God, not to despise the correction of God and not to become discouraged when rebuked by Him, this because whom the Lord loves He corrects and scourges, in other words whips all of His children. Whoops, what do you mean? He scourges, whips His children? For the majority of the people of the world and sad to say even for the church this passage is no longer acceptable.

    God treats us as children when He does this. The writer asks, what son is there whom a father does not chasten? I also would like to ask this question today and also ask which church does not discipline its members when needed? Unfortunately, today the majority of fathers, mothers and churches do not, and I repeat DO NOT, correct, discipline neither scourge their children physically, nor correct or discipline spiritually. In this way they neglect to reflect the true love of God, because let’s remember that it is because God loves us that He does it.

    Obviously, when we speak of the church and its members we are not speaking about physically scourging people. No, this is obvious. However, in Scripture for determined situations of rebellion and sins the church must exercise discipline and correction MATTHEW 18:15-20; 1 CORINTHIANS 5:1-13;1 TIMOTHY 5:20;TITUS 2:15 as well as the parents must do the same with their children. In the word of God it is imperative to correct and discipline -to exercise godly love, it is a part of the practical training in righteousness we must exercise on our children if indeed we love them.

    Correction and discipline as God commands will bring our children to receive a great peaceable fruit of righteousness and will lead to be partakers of God’s holiness and it is for their best HEBREWS 12:10-11. Only this way they will learn the fear of God, respect and the joy of knowing they are loved as sons and daughters.

    Obviously, the correction and the scourging are things that for the moment as they are experienced, they are not an object of joy or pleasure but they will yield spiritual fruit in the life of those upon whom they are exercised.

    If we truly love our children we will correct them and punish them. If we do not correct them and scourge them we will not demonstrate them the true love they need. In fact, we will indeed hate them. If we do not correct them and scourge them, we will provoke wrath and rebellion to be born in them. Both the lack of true biblical discipline and the excess of violence, in other words abuse cause children to become wrathful and rebellious.

    Revelation 3:19 As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent.

    We see that, in both passages of Hebrews and here in Revelation there are two words used that describe the correction and the discipline and that are an expression of God’s love for His children. In Hebrews the words are chasten and scourge and in Revelation they are rebuke and chasten

    The first thing we have to notice is that these, according to Scripture, are expressions of love, according to the world they are expressions of hate and abuse.

    We see then how contrary the ways of God are from the ways of the world.

    There is a very important premise to make in regard to this, there is actually a great difference between abuse and correction, between hitting abusively and biblically chastening or scourging physically. There is a method and a precise system for how one scourges or disciplines corporeally a child.

    Since the world says that there is no value in physically chastening a child and instead it is a demonstration of cruelty and abuse that leads the child to be rebellious, what does the Bible say? We have already seen that chasten and scourge as well as rebuke and punish are expressions of God’s love for His children. How is this possible?

    Proverbs 13:24 He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

    Incredible, who spares to punish his child with the rod, this is physical scourging, hates his own child? How is this possible? Instead he who does it, corrects promptly loves their child. Why? The Bible tells us specifically that delayed action or total lack of discipline and correction leads to do evil.

    Ecclesiastes 8:11 Because the sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil.

    When we do not execute the correction promptly we will have catastrophic results in the lives of our children.

    Let’s examine together the words of biblical correction the scourge. The scourge is a whip, sometimes we cannot spare the whip, what is the whip? This is NOT a symbolic word for any punishment, it does not mean to hit with hands, it is the name of a specific tool or object.

    The meaning of whip or scourge is: rod, long, slim and flexible stick: to whip with a scourge, the rod of the shepherd for example.

    The children need to be corrected by whipping them with a flexible rod or scourge also known as switch. This discipline is to be done exclusively on the buttock.

    NEVER we hit children with our hands, with any other object and in no other part of the body.

    In addition, the scourge, the physical correction on our children never has to be done when we are taken by anger due to their behavior. Before the correction occurs we must warn them, we must calm down, we must then explain them why they are going to get scourged, we must teach them what commandment of the word of God they disobeyed, this is the correction that is part of their training process and in addition it is very important that they understand that we love them, that this is done for their good. Correction is done to teach them.

    After this process we must pray for them and with them, we must teach them to confess their sin and to ask God for forgiveness and to apologize and ask for the forgiveness of any person they might have offended.

    The scourging is not always in every situation necessary. It is necessary in serious sinful situations. Disrespectful behavior toward parents and people, open and defiant rebellion to direct orders from the parents or other authorities, tantrums, serious offenses such as hitting others, stubbornness and rebellion 1 SAMUEL 15:23 are two prideful serious offenses that will be broken only by the application of the scourge.

    Proverbs 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him.

    However, both the rod and or any other kind of correction has to begin to be applied from an early age, we cannot start disciplining our children when they are already older or it will be almost useless. The proper age is to begin when they really can understand what they are really doing is wrong by explanation, this is probably OK from 2-1/2to 3 years old.

    Correction must be applied with continuity and coherently otherwise it becomes ineffective. Also if it is not applied properly it can harm instead of benefit as it becomes violence instead of correction.

    Once again we must repeat it, we NEVER hit children on any other part of the body, ONLY on the buttocks with no other implement but a flexible stick or switch. NEVER hit with the hands we are too strong and it will hurt them. NEVER pull their hair or ears, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER hit them with any other object and NEVER, NEVER, NEVER hit them on the face or head. All this is not correction it is abuse and violence that does as much damage as no correction at all.

    Let’s remember then these important principles in the Bible

    Proverbs 29:15 The rod and rebuke give wisdom, But a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.

    Proverbs 29:17 Correct your son, and he will give you rest; Yes, he will give delight to your soul.

    It becomes evident that this type of correction is not only advised, it is commanded, we are after all commanded to love as God loves and this is part of the demonstration of God’s love for His children.

    Proverbs 23:13-14 Do not withhold correction from a child, For if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. 14 You shall beat him with a rod, And deliver his soul from hell.

    I like this passage very much, see what God says, we cannot, it’s a commandment, withhold correction, including the rod, when we scourge a child it will not harm him, in fact He says the child will not die, he’ll get over that. Instead of death we will give them the right direction for being delivered from spiritual death. In fact, the word is clear, if you correct your children biblically, you will preserve them from death because not to correct them or discipline them would mean not delivering their soul from hell, a really serious issue.

    This is contrary of what psychology of the world says today in regard to physical discipline. They say it is useless and harmful to the psyche and the emotional sate of the child. As you see, since the world lays in the hands of the wicked one, it wants to adopt his lies and philosophies. The ways of the devil and of the world bring curses, destruction and death, God’s ways bring life and blessings.

    There are other behaviors where punishment not of physical nature is enough as well as restitution can be enough correction. However, the scourge, the whip, the switch, whatever you want to call it, MUST NOT be spared if we really love our children.

    Proverbs 19:18 Chasten your son while there is hope, And do not set your heart on his destruction.

    The King James version says “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” while others read like this “ Discipline your son while there is hope, And do not desire his death or Discipline your son while there is hope; do not set your heart on his destruction.”

    No matter how you turn this verse around and what version you read, you always understand what it is saying. If you do not chasten, correct, discipline you child while there is hope for his or her rehabilitation, this means doing it while they are being formed, younger ages, if you do not do it, you will be set your heart on his or her destruction. In fact, the KJV says not to let his or her cries dissuade you from carrying out the proper discipline, do not let their cries stop you for if you do it will be a false mercy, it will be no mercy at all, it will destroy them.

    In light of the correction, discipline and training in righteousness we have talked bout, I would like to get back to another passage we had already seen and that we had said it could be a promise, but it can be a double edged sword. This becomes evident even by the text itself.

    Proverbs 22:6 Train the child on the way he should go and even when he is old he will not depart from it.

    The key to this passage is the word train (Imperative verb, it indicates a commandment not a suggestion or option), we do understand then, that the training the Bible commands us to do with our children includes the discipline and the correction, as these all are the ways one should go on added to the written and theoretical word of God. If we correct our children and discipline them in training of what the word of God teaches, they will indeed learn to fear God and by consequence when they are older they will not depart form the faith, from the way to follow. Jesus is the way to follow and all that His word teaches MATTHEW 7:24:27, Jesus is the way, the truth and our life, see also DEUTERONOMY 32:46-47.

    Many Christians are surprised and ask themselves why their children walk away from God, from the faith, they are convinced that they have trained their children in the way they should go. In effect they did not, it cannot be, because the word of God is truth and does not lie. If the children when they are older they depart and walk away from God, it means that in some way the parents did not biblically train their children. We know that to walk from God and living in sin without repenting brings death, both physical and spiritual death.

    These are things regarding the erroneous training or we should say lack of biblical training and some of the most damaging things to add to this are compromise with sin, erroneous doctrines and compromise with the world and its philosophies and ideologies. The second thing the lack of biblical correction and discipline, erroneous application of them.

    For those who think these things are strictly OT, I want to say, I think Scripture proves you wrong.

    Once again I want to clarify a thing that I cannot stop saying, that is, we cannot afford as Christians to play around with our children’s souls nor can we evade the spiritual responsibilities God has given parents and church, we cannot disobey His commandments.

    Unfortunately, I know that we are afflicted by a false sense of goodness and grace and tolerance, these are worldly philosophies, it’s pride and these lies are taught to all today. This is a philosophy that our society and culture forces upon everybody. It is a philosophy that has invaded the church, exactly in the passage mentioned previously in 1 CORINTHIANS 5:2-6. Paul condemns this type of tolerance in the church, tolerance of things contrary to God’s word.

    I also realize that the church is infected and afflicted by this deceptive thing. However, the word of God has to be only what guides the church and not society and culture. Also I realize, that in certain cases, even rightly so, our society and culture in order to avoid the abuse of children has passed laws, these laws can negatively affect the way we execute biblical correction and discipline. However, this is an aspect we also must tackle biblically. In other words, are we afraid of laws that impede us from obeying God’s will? What laws prevail for the Christian? Laws that are contrary to the word of God and that in many ways prevents us to save our children from the snares of the world and the devil?

    Certainly, we have to have respect and be submitted to the authorities, the Bible does teach us this and this we have to do. However, the question arises, if a law of man prevents us from or prohibits us to do God’s will and to put into practice His word, to what law must we be faithful and obey?

    Must we obey man’s law or God’s law? Which law takes precedent? I believe that the Bible gives us the answer and that the Apostles themselves have disobeyed their human even religious authorities when they wanted to prohibit them to do God’s will ACTS 5:29. I know that we risk consequences with society when we discipline and correct our children biblically. In fact, the Apostles wound up in prison continually for disobeying human authorities and obeying God’s word, so what is better to obey man or God? Who governs better, man or God? Look around in the world and tell me if man is able to govern well without God. I do not think so. It is also obvious that we do not talk about abusing our children or being violent toward them, we are speaking about biblical correction and discipline done the way it has to be done. If we practice abuse and violence, it is right to be arrested. God does not condone nor justify abuse and violence.

    Let’s go examine in a passage of the NT that will confirm the training of our children exposed in the OT.

    Let’s try to remember that the readers and the authors of the period of the NT only had OT Scriptures as reference points and the authors of the NT quoted OT Scripture as the word of God. They confirmed the validity of the principles and commandments found in the OT Scriptures as the word of God. ROMANS 15:4;1 CORINTHIANS 10:11;2 TIMOTHY 3:16-17.

    Today we have all the NT Scriptures with which to train and discipline our children, but the system that is delineated is the Biblical, one which we have been studying, this has nothing to with how the world and psychology say we must train and treat our children.

    Remember that if you want to train and teach your children with the philosophies, methods and psychologies of this world, you will certainly loose them. If you use biblical systems you will be called antiquated, not with it, you will be offended and will be mocked, even hated, however you will save your children. What do you want to do? Do you want to please the world and men and loose your children and family or be offended and mocked even hated by the world but save your children and family? The choice is yours.

    Do you prefer that your children are dressed in the latest fashions, designer clothes, and have all the latest worldly amenities, video games, MTV, disco, internet etc. and that wind up in hell when they die besides having very unhappy and unfulfilled and empty lives, even destroyed lives? Or do you want instead that perhaps they be dressed with normal, no-name and modest clothing, perhaps being under supervision in regard as to what they watch and do, prohibit them to go places that are not places for Christian children and frequent companies that are not good for them, let them live without the useless things the world tells you they must have, perhaps going out with other believers’ children, accompanied by adult supervision, perhaps spend time reading and studying the word of God with other believing friends and that they be thus saved and go to heaven with you when they die as well as living a happy and fulfilled life on this earth?

    What do you prefer? Oh, you will say now, we cannot emarginate or exclude them completely from their “friends” and the “world” otherwise they will be angry and they will rebel. Are you kidding? Must I remind you what the word of God says.

    1 Corinthians 15:33-34 Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.” 34 Awake to righteousness, and do not sin; for some do not have the knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame.


    James 4:1-4 Where do wars and fights come from among you? Do they not come from your desires for pleasure that war in your members? 2 You lust and do not have. You murder and covet and cannot obtain. You fight and war. Yet you do not have because you do not ask. 3 You ask and do not receive, because you ask amiss, that you may spend it on your pleasures. 4 Adulterers and adulteresses! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.

    In fact, God’s word tell us exactly the contrary. If we train our children in God’s ways and God’s way and not in the way of the world they will NOT at all rebel and leave the faith, see what the next passage commands us to do.

    Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.

    If indeed you want your children provoked to wrath and rebellion do not obey God’s ways, do not train a child God’s way and you will see. Maybe you are already seeing the results. The devil wants to deceive you and make you compromise many things, he wants you to think that if you do not give your children “the pleasures and the toys of this world” they will rebel. It’s a lie!

    It’s exactly if you give them the things of this world and you compromise that they will depart from the faith, what have we just read in 1 Corinthians 15:33-34 and this last passage?

    This last passage we read is very interesting, because it explains us that to avoid provoking our children to wrath and rebellion there is a precise method and instruction, bring them up, in the training and admonition of the Lord.

    Let’s look together at this passage in Ephesians to see what instructions God is giving us and if in effect these are in accord with that which we have read to do in the OT.

    The word used for bring them up is the Greek word extrèfete which means to bring to maturity. So the responsibility of the bringing up a child is to bring him or her to spiritual maturity and it is as we see a primary responsibility of the father, but not exclusively, we have seen it’s the mother’s also. The woman’s teaching is not exclusive to the daughters but also for the sons. However, it is of greater responsibility for the mother to train and teach the daughters. The principle we find in TITUS 2:3-5 is valid for mothers to exercise upon their own daughters. However, getting back to the passage at hand, we have seen we must bring our children to spiritual maturity, it is the duty of the parents to do so, how? With a disciplined life. In fact, the word we find translated training is the Greek word paideìa which means disciplinary correction and this includes the famous scourging we spoke about, it’s training correction, teaching that corrects a certain course of action. We have, in fact, seen already that even the bodily correction of the rod must at all costs come with instruction and education in the word of God. The word translated admonition is the Greek word nouthesia that means to call to attention through reproof, warnings, decisive exhortation done with the authority of God’s word and even severe rebuke of the Lord, His word.

    There are two types of discipline we can subdivide easily in this passage, the discipline of training and the discipline of living. These are the types of discipline even our Heavenly Father uses to bring us to spiritual maturity. These are the two types of Christian discipline we must exercise in our own lives and in the lives of our children as well.

    To better understand what these types of discipline are there are two specific passages we will take into consideration.

    The first one, is disciplinary action, it is corrective in chastising, in a punitive way andhas to be exercised. This discipline, we have seen it even before, is very important because it is considered training by the word of God if done properly. God exercises this kind of discipline because He loves His children, it is an expression of God’s love that produces a very important fruit in the life of the believer. This practice we also MUST exercise with or children and as we have seen it is a part of what EPHESIANS 6:4 commands us to do.

    Hebrews 12:5-11 And you have forgotten the exhortation which speaks to you as to sons: “My son, do not despise the chastening of the LORD, Nor be discouraged when you are rebuked by Him; 6 For whom the LORD loves He chastens, And scourges every son whom He receives.” 7 If you endure chastening, God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom a father does not chasten? 8 But if you are without chastening, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate and not sons. 9 Furthermore, we have had human fathers who corrected us, and we paid them respect. Shall we not much more readily be in subjection to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they indeed for a few days chastened us as seemed best to them, but He for our profit, that we may be partakers of His holiness. 11 Now no chastening seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

    I underlined the words I want you to focus on. See that the use of these words are found in the meaning of the chosen words used in EPHESIANS 6:4

    Rebuke, which is part of the word admonition, chastening and scourging is part of the word training they are all proof that God loves us and He treats us as sons meaning we belong to Him, we are not bastards or illegitimate. It is for our profit, in this way we partake of His holiness and this aids us in the process of our sanctification. It causes pain and discomfort, however it produces a peaceable fruit of righteousness in our life because God trains us through it, He teaches us, instructs us.

    This is the corrective discipline we also must exercise in the life of our children to train them and bring them to spiritual maturity.

    The second type of discipline or training that also trains and leads to spiritual maturity is what exercises the spirit to follow a determined path.

    This training or discipline has to rigorously be practiced if we want to see determined spiritual results in our life and the life of our children. The Scripture gives us examples of this type of discipline. This is the discipline every believer needs to practice first in his or her life and then teach their children. The examples of this kind of disciplined spiritual life are found in

    2 Timothy 2:3-6 You therefore must endure hardship as a good soldier of Jesus Christ. 4 No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier. 5 And also if anyone competes in athletics, he is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. 6 The hard-working farmer must be first to partake of the crops.

    From these three examples we see by logic and obvious observation of the subject of which Paul is talking what is meant to be disciplined in the spiritual life. Paul gives us three examples, the soldier, the athlete and the farmer. All three of these subjects must live a life that is disciplined and in order to be able to have success in their tasks.

    A simple soldier, especially in Paul’s days as well as today, had to live a very hard and disciplined life. Physical training and exercise is a must, training in the use of their weapons is indispensable and the right nutrition as well. The soldier has to live a very serious life, not at all distracted by the things the civil everyday life, what Paul calls the affairs of this life, no excessive amusement, no interest in the things of this world. Discipline and more discipline instead because when a soldier enters into combat, he cannot find himself distracted, nor out of shape or exercise, not ignorant about using his weapons otherwise he would die. Also, a soldier has a specific duty, he has to have a one and only faithfulness, an obedience reserved to him who enlisted him. The soldier belongs to the army which he is enlisted into and he cannot do as he pleases. The soldier receives orders he must obey. So, we who then are soldiers of Christ, whom have been bought with a price, we do not belong to ourselves but to Him who bought us with His precious blood, 1 CORINTHIANS 6:19-20.. We, even more than the worldly soldier, must be faithful only to our general, the Lord. So as the life of the soldier even more ours must be. We are in a spiritual war and we must be trained and disciplined to fight it and win it EPHESIANS 6:10-18. We must not be distracted or compromise with the affairs of the world but obey the commandments of God’s word and be faithful only to Him.

    The second example is the athlete. The athlete is very similar to the soldier in the fact that he must at all costs live an extremely disciplined life. He has to compete and he must compete by the rules if he wants to be victorious. The athlete, also as the soldier, has to train very hard, has to discipline his eating habits, has to be in the best possible physical shape to be able to win, cannot be distracted by too many other things that will bring him off his training and will cause him to be under-trained and cause him not to be victorious. We instead are commanded to lay aside all things that can hinder our race HEBREWS 12:1-2

    The hardworking farmer, yes, as it says the farmer has to be a hard worker, he also lives a life of discipline and perseverance, he is patient and works hard and incessantly to reap a harvest. The farmer gets up very early in the morning, works physically hard in the fields preparing the soil for the proper sowing. Works in the hot sun in the summer, works in the cold winter. He is a worker that sacrifices greatly his comfort and cannot afford to be lazy and comfortable. He cannot evade his responsibilities otherwise he will not eat or earn a living because he will not reap a harvest. He is a patient worker because he must wait the right season to plant, to prune and to reap.

    What does this have to do with the spiritual training of our children? Everything!

    All these examples are analogieson how we must live the Christian life and how we must train our children to live it. These principles are essential if we want to live a victorious spiritual life filled with satisfactions. So even in our children’s training these principles need to be instilled, taught and practiced. This is part of God’s discipline. Faithfulness to God in everything, obedience to His word, in other words putting it into practice. No compromise with the ways of the world, train rigorously in the skill of spiritual disciplines such as daily reading of God’s word, personal and group Bible study, meditation of God’s word, obedience to God’s word and prayer. This calls us not to be lazy or comfortable, it means learning how to work hard for the Lord, to be faithful, trustworthy, meticulous, precise, punctual, to learn how to suffer for Him when necessary, persevering and patient. These are all qualities that these three persons described by Paul have to have and so do we, we and our children.

    Interestingly, as all Biblical instructions commanded in God’s word in the world, and unfortunately, even in the church at large are no longer accepted and practiced. Many Biblical practices today are considered harmful to the psychological health and growth of our children and they are discouraged. Sadly, not only they are discouraged from the world, they are discouraged now even in the church.

    This proves that the church has bought the philosophies and the psychology of the world instead of the word of God. It is not a surprise to me that believer’s children do not walk with the Lord instead they walk away from Him. Also, it is evident that contrary to what the psychologists of this world teach, we can in fact (and we certainly will )provoke our children to wrath and rebellion if we do not correct them and discipline them and train them as we just studied in the word of God.

    We must see what Paul is saying when he tells fathers, who as we did mention often are the primary responsible persons for the training and the disciplining of the children, not to provoke their sons or daughters to wrath or anger. When our children do not receive the training and correction and discipline as the word of God says it should be done, when our children are not admonished in the Lord, when instead of doing all the word of God tells us to do and how it says it should be done, when we do not put this into practice or if instead of giving them correction and discipline, we abuse our children. We will provoke them, in both cases to wrath, anger, rebellion against us, God and authority in general.

    Do you really take an interest in what your children do? What do they watch? What kind of music do they listen to? With whom do they keep company? Why do they go out by themselves without supervision while they are still minors? How do they dress? What kind of stuff do they wear? Do you allow them to abuse their bodies with tattoos and piercings of all kinds? Do you permit your sons to wear earrings?

    Do your minor daughters go around by themselves with their stomach and rear-end exposed, with their underwear visible? What kind of dress code do you allow? Miniskirts and pants so tight and revealing that all their private areas are actually visible? Do your sons look like the world’s children in all they do, these who today are going around really looking like true pagans?

    You parents are responsible of all this in the lives of your children and for all the time they are minors as well as living under your roof. Often when I see believers’ children that go around looking like pagans and prostitutes I get sick. You allow them to go dancing, disco? Those are not places for believers’ children. I am not advocating legalism as many perhaps would think all this is. No, this is letting your children be conformed to the ways of the world, this I described to you is paganism and God condemns it. So my dear brothers and sisters you will loose your children to the world because you are permissive and you let them compromise with the world. From what they wear or not wear to who they go out with it is known who has authority and who controls the family. If it’s the children, the world and the devil or if it is the parents and ultimately the Lord and His word.

    Yes, I have said it before and I will repeat it again, the lack of biblical discipline, correction and training produce anger and rebellion as much as does abuse and violence inflicted on children. The lack of biblical discipline, teaching, training and correction and the erroneous application or lack thereof are detrimental to lives of our children. These responsibilities on part of Christian parents are indispensable and have to be the priority. These are not things anyone can afford not to practice or practice it in a wrong way. These things are not optional if we really want our children to faithfully follow the Lord. If we truly long to see our children become men and women of God the way God wants them to be, we must at all costs practice these commandments, we must live out our spiritual responsibilities and accept to live and operate within the roles that God has designed for each of us. We must stop running after the world’s, society and cultural philosophies and customs and we really must become men and women of God who live the principles of the word of God. Men and women of God that have a biblical view of the family, of the church and of the world. We cannot live a life of compromises, we cannot remain with one leg in the world and idolatry and the other in the kingdom of Heaven. This means to be lukewarm, it is a compromised life, it’s religion that will not at all do any good, it’s a thing God despises. Why do you falter between two opinions? If the LORD is God than serve Him. If Baal, Mammon, the world, society and culture are god then serve them.

    1 Kings 18:21-22 And Elijah came to all the people, and said, “How long will you falter between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow Him; but if Baal, follow him.” But the people answered him not a word.

    What do you answer today? Will you also not answer one word? Will you justify your disobedience? Will you also say how difficult it is today to put these things into practice? Will you instead be like Jesus who in the midst of His most difficult moment of His life, in Gethsemane, said “not my will, but your will be done”.

    Do you think it was easy for Him to do the Father’s will? Do you think it was easy for Him who knew no sin to become sin for us? Him who never experienced separation from His Father from all eternity to be even for a short time separated from the Father? Has He not told us to pick up our cross and follow Him daily? Did He not tell us we must loose our life in order to find it? For what will it profit us if we gain the whole world but lose our soul or we lose our children? LUKE 9:23.

    In the first part of the study we have seen how the devil was able to deceive society believing his lies. One of those if you remember was the fact that children are of little importance, in other words they can be in some way sacrificed on the altar of well-being, I call it the illusion of well-being. The true and real well-being is when we obey the will of God and we receive His blessings. However, since pagan society, but even “Christian” society have submitted to this demonic philosophy, that children are not important and are of secondary priority, we have lost the true value of what children really are and can be.

    There is another aspect that is connected to this. In other words this, the women, the mothers and also the husbands and fathers are struggling in an incredible wayto maintain a family today. This is really caused by the fact that both “must” work and usually they do. I say that if the family was a big family with the passing of time children would become a great asset and a precious resource for the maintenance and support of the family.

    I’ll explain what I mean. There is another aspect of the proper training of the children that has to be part of the Christian family. Children have to be trained from a very early age to share chores and take determined responsibilities within family life. This is learning how to work around the house, dividing the various responsibilities between children, so that the mother as a homemaker does not have the entire load and weight of work on herself. This aspect is not abusive rather educational. If since a fairly early age children are trained to do first small chores and then as they grow bigger ones, a orderly and well managed family will exist. Children will have learned and will learn not only all the things that will be necessary when they have a family and they will have learned the responsibility and the value of work, they will have trained also not to be lazy and spoiled as the unfortunate majority of youngsters and then not so youngsters are and become. The training of the children would also result in the freeing up of the mother’s time as she could also contribute to the financial provision of the family by being able to do some kind of work at home if it were necessary.

    Through these responsibilities that would be divided amongst the family members there is also a place for the husband and father who should love his wife in such a way that he has to sacrifice when it is needed, even if this means that he also help in the responsibilities of the housework. Certainly, to arrive at this conclusion it was not necessary to have the rebellion of the feminist movement but simple obedience to the word of God on part of the husbands and the correct teaching of these things on part of the church. Unfortunately, these lacked and so the devil has taken advantage of the disobedience of the church to create chaos and destruction.

    You will ask how does this result biblically? Yes it does, the word of God tells us in Titus 2:3-5 the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things– 4 that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed.

    We had already seen that these instructions are valid for mothers that must teach their daughters these things. This is part of the education and the training mothers MUST give their daughters. As you see there is teaching of being homemakers and to be chaste, good and obedient to their own husbands. In all honesty, we must admit that most Christian mothers do not teach these things to their daughters. There are perhaps some, but not many.

    Do fathers teach and train their sons how to be responsible workers even in the household environment? There are many tings that sons can learn to do, there is no harm in learning how to help around the house. I do not believe it is really a feminist subject that males need to learn and contribute in some way to help doing work around the house. I believe instead that it is a matter of responsibility, love and respect for their parents.

    So we have begun to cover a little through the training and teaching of the children also what are some of their responsibilities toward their parents and God, respecting and obeying parents is a commandment of God. A commandment of God that has a great promise attached to it.

    Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you.